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Finally got up the courage to ask my wife to come to a sessi

sadhusband's picture
[4385]

Finally got up the courage to ask my wife to come to a session with my counselor - who thought it would be helpful - but my wife, at first seemed shocked, then said was it my idea or the counselor's - then said "isn't it too soon?"
She pretty much shut down the conversation.
I am at a loss to know what to do.

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sadhusband's picture
[4385]
Jul 16

@Alex.Blue
Thanks for clarifying - and appreciate your input.

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[30]
Jul 17

Hi Sadhusband,

I was married to someone who was/is completely focused on herself. From her perspective, that wasn't a bad idea. However, from my perspective it was a lonely world to be living in. In retrospect, nothing would have ever been fixed, and of course it never was, if I had not continued to ask for her to accompany me to some form of counseling. The fact is that I didn't. However, the most impactful action that I took was that of prayer and seeking faith based support. If you are regularly attending counseling, I would recommend that you continue to go. If your counselor thinks it may be a good idea to bring your children, I would do that as well. I guess what I am trying to say is that you might want to consider focusing on the things within your control, and accept your inability to control other aspects of your life. I will pray for you in the meantime.

Outlook2018

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sadhusband's picture
[4385]
Jul 17

@Outlook2018
Thanks for all. I do attend services regularly and pray as well. She unfortunately has abandoned it long ago. I am doing limited counseling (not to use up our limited money and time) mainly to prevent a complete meltdown and gain strength - unfortunately she isn't and it seems won't. Some of the tactics I have learned here and in my research have helped quite a bit in maintaining my own sanity and perspective as well as avoiding certain traps and predictable quagmires. I do think she has some respect for the fact that I have taken counseling and has been more muted as I have become more professional and less emotional in our relations (such as they are) - but I don't kid myself too much, she can't or won't change. But we have 5 kids together and I do love her very much. When I can think of her behavior as an illness, I can sometimes make the analogy to cancer or some other disease for which I would not leave nor blame her.

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