10 months ago my husband of 20 years told me he didn't want

10 months ago my husband of 20 years told me he didn't want to be married to me anymore. There was no affair. He just didn't want me. In the time since I have really struggled to put myself together. I've lost interest in self-care - I stopped exercising and eating well and I spend a lot of time on the internet drinking wine. I've gained a ton of weight and I kind of don't care about it. Previously, I was an avid runner and generally healthy and fit. And I just don't care anymore.

I feel lost. Abandoned. Unlovable.

I don't know how to get myself on track to myself. Who am I even?

I do better the weeks my teenaged son is staying with me (we've agreed to 50/50 custody in an every other week situation) because it puts some structure into my life.

I got a couple of dogs and I think they help me some, but I feel like I am barely living. I get up, take care of the dogs, go to work, come home, drink wine and surf the internet, hang out with my dogs, go to bed. Rinse. Repeat.

I feel like a loser with no end to losing in sight.

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[60]
Oct 12

@Consideringdivorce I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have that happen to you. I wasn't cheated on but I still feel sometimes like I just wasn't good enough for him to stay. Even though intellectually I know this can't be true.

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[30]
Oct 12

@SadMechanics I apologize for making you think of dating. That was not my intention. Hang in there girl.

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[7100]
Oct 12

We all have been there....what seems like rock bottom. I felt that way....stopped eating, exercising, started drinking and just generally didn't really care about anything. I felt like there was a black cloud hanging over my head 24/7. It was a terrible feeling. It took some time, but I started to feel better. I have more good days then bad. At first, it was such a relief to feel good, because of feeling so bad for what seemed like an eternity. I have been seeing a therapist...2 actually....started to eat better, sleep better and feel genuinely better.
It just takes time. Everyone process is differently. We don't move on...we move forward. Eventually you will move on. Take care of yourself. You are number 1.

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