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I am a married man living with my wife and two sons that I a

[175]

I am a married man living with my wife and two sons that I am wanting them to move out on there own they have jobs and cars I see no reason for them being here they are over 21 and them being here makes me not want to be my child mover out at 19 I have spoke with my wife about this all they do is sleep and eat wont cleanup wont pickup paper in front of the house don't take out trash and if they do it is because I have gotten on her about this otherwise she would do it this drives me to doing things I don't want to do no matter what I say to her she and they are right and I am wrong she makes me feel like I am nothing she can see my wrong but not hers.

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[175]
Jun 13

@iamstupidx1000 Hello this is not new to them this has been going on for 9 years there mother put's up with this we have talked about this she has sad something to them about this but they know she is going back to old ways and so is she maybe I should say this the house is in her name and she don't care what they do are don't do she has sad to me just go with the flow she changes for a little wile but always go back to old ways this is what sadden me people want you to change but they wont these are the kind of people that don't care what the house look's like in side or out I do.

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[175]
Jun 14

Good Morning as I start my day keeping in mind to try to take off the old man and put on the new man keep me in your prays ever one have a nice day.

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[415]
Jun 16

I am so sorry you are going through this. A situation like this with children who are afraid or unwilling to launch can be very challenging. I recently read an article that discussed a similar situation. Here are a few pertinent paragraphs:

"The fact of the matter is that you won't be forfeiting your influence in your daughter's life by insisting that she either honor your views on..... or find other accommodations. You'll actually be asserting that influence in the best and most powerful way possible. You'll be showing her that you're serious about what you believe – serious enough to protect and maintain your own integrity even at the risk of introducing pain and strain into the relationship. She may not like this, but sooner or later she will have to learn to respect it. And that's one of the most important lessons you can give her at this stage in her life.

The key here is to shift your attitude. Instead of seeing your daughter as your "child," try approaching her as you would any other grown-up renter or tenant. Sit down together and draw up a written contract specifying the terms of her living arrangement with her. Handle this as you would any other business agreement with another responsible adult. Print out a renter contract form (they're available online or through your local Division of Housing) and fill it in with her assistance. List your house rules, making them as clear and specific as possible. Address such topics as rent, utilities, bills, pets, cleanliness, conduct, safety, and an appropriate level of respect for your property and the property of other members of the household. State plainly that behaviors that violate your personal values and moral standards – such as allowing boyfriends to spend the night – will not be tolerated on the premises.

How you handle infringements of the contract is strictly up to you. There's always room for grace and forgiveness, even between landlords and renters. But the advantage of a written agreement is that it gives you a sound legal basis for eviction in the event that violations become flagrant and persistent."

....I hope this helps. PM me if you'd like me to send you a link to the entire article. It is a quick read and also provides links to some resources that might help you with this challenging situation.

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