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I am a married man living with my wife and two sons that I a

[195]

I am a married man living with my wife and two sons that I am wanting them to move out on there own they have jobs and cars I see no reason for them being here they are over 21 and them being here makes me not want to be my child mover out at 19 I have spoke with my wife about this all they do is sleep and eat wont cleanup wont pickup paper in front of the house don't take out trash and if they do it is because I have gotten on her about this otherwise she would do it this drives me to doing things I don't want to do no matter what I say to her she and they are right and I am wrong she makes me feel like I am nothing she can see my wrong but not hers.

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[495]
Jun 20

@kook_50 you're welcome. I hope it helped.

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[80630]
Jun 20

It sounds like they're having trouble launching. I see this is a common theme these days. Here's the thing though, people are launching at an older age than in previous generations and economists say it's because our economy has changed. Nevertheless there have to be some boundaries. Firstly when I was 18, back in 1980, most parents would tell their kids if they didn't have a job or go to college or maybe both, then they'd have to leave. I liken it to pushing the bird out of the nest to fly. But there may be reasons your sons are having trouble launching. It could be your wife is enabling them. But it could be you're not quite realistic enough or a bit of both. Like for example, have you given them some tips how to look for a job and fill out an application, etc? Do they need to go to vocational school and maybe an incentive or guidance on how to decide what they want to do? Are they doing stuff that takes away their motivation to succeed (smoking pot, as an example.) Do they have low self worth and maybe a complex that gives them reason to not be able to function in which case they may be depressed and need counseling? After considering all this stuff, I recommend also, going over to the cable company and having it disconnected. No TV may make it less comfy to sit around all day. Also if necessary unplugging the internet during the day.

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[80630]
Jun 20

I'm sorry, I think I accidentally misunderstood you to be saying they weren't working. If they're working, and have cars, you have given them all the tools they need to survive. I agree with some of the above commenters about showing them rent prices and making them pay at least a small rent to give them some sense of appreciation. If they don't wanna do chores, they can pay for your gardener, maid or whatever. So it's their choice. Do they wanna pay for the chores to be done by an employee or will they do it. If they lived on their own, they'd have to take care of their place. I'm starting to wonder about the kids these days how they learned to be this disrespectful. Like are the schools instilling these terrible values. Obviously you gave them all they needed to launch. It's aggravating you and your wife can't agree on this. I pray you'll be on the same page but think in this case you may have to take a stand against your wife's wishes. Maybe she'll admire you for it in the end.

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